


Worthless Servant

by Wallwalker



Category: Final Fantasy IV
Genre: Community: ff_threesomes, Community: fic_on_demand, Gen, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-23
Updated: 2010-01-23
Packaged: 2017-10-06 15:25:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wallwalker/pseuds/Wallwalker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Golbez tests his servant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worthless Servant

Kain walked slowly into the main chamber of the tower, keeping his eyes on the floor in front of him.

"You're late, Kain," said Golbez, not even turning around as Kain walked in. Kain could see him standing and looking at Rosa, where she rested in her bonds - finally asleep, her face peaceful despite the dried tears and the dark circles under her eyes. "You've been late far too often."

"I'm sorry, Master." Kain bowed his head, felt the guilt that always came with his master's words. "It won't happen again."

"Indeed," Golbez said softly. "You've been a very poor servant, Kain. I am not pleased."

It was a soft rebuke, but Kain felt as if he'd been punched. If Golbez was displeased with him - if he could not make his master proud - what good was he? "Please, Master, let me redeem myself," he said, still with his eyes fixed on the floor. "What must I do?"

Golbez waved his hand, gesturing for Kain to stand beside him. Kain did, although he kept his gaze down. He had only looked Golbez in the eyes once, weeks ago... he remembered it very clearly. That was the day when he'd realized how great he could be, and yet how unworthy he was even to look the great master Golbez in the eye, until the day that he proved himself.

"When you first pledged yourself to me, you were a fine servant," Golbez said, his deep voice rumbling in his armored chest. "Now you are too easily distracted. You dream when you should be acting, and you behave rashly. Why is that, Kain?"

"I don't know, Master," Kain said.

"Don't you?" Golbez chuckled. "Ever since I had you take the girl, you have been... _distant._ Your mind cannot be too far from me, Kain. You cannot serve me if you are serving yourself."

Kain knew that he should answer, but how could he? His master was right. Rosa had been on his mind. He would go to her every moment that he could - not speaking to her, just staring at her frightened face, until she pleaded with him for mercy. Then he would go, and he would stay away for days at a time, but then something would bring him back to her.

"Why are you silent?" Golbez asked sharply. "Am I wrong, Kain?"

"No, Master. Never." Kain closed his eyes. "I have been careless, Master Golbez. I beg your forgiveness."

"How can you ask for forgiveness when even now you're dreaming about her?" Kain suppressed a gasp; he should have known that Golbez would see his innermost thoughts. His master always knew what he was thinking... "But perhaps I should be merciful. You want Cecil's woman, don't you? You want her for your own."

"Yes," he said. Could his master really mean to show him mercy? Him, an insignificant thing? "More than anything, Master."

"Of course. And I could give her to you, Kain," Golbez said. "I could take her thoughts of Cecil away, and make her want only you."

"I... yes, Master. I know." He stopped himself from saying how badly he wanted it. The very idea of it filled him with desire - Rosa standing by his side, embracing him passionately, her lips warm on his, her soft pale skin against his own. Golbez would know that. Golbez always knew what Kain was thinking.

Yes, he wanted her. He wanted her to see that he was the better man. He wanted her to stand with him when Cecil came to the Tower and deride him, tell him that she no longer loved him.

"I could do it," Golbez continued, "this very instant, if you wish. If you prove yourself a good servant."

"Master?" Kain turned to look at him. "What must I do?"

Golbez chuckled. "Tell me how much you hate Cecil, and I will wipe his memory from her mind. Tell me, Kain."

Kain nodded eagerly and opened his mouth to speak. "Master. I hate... I..."

The words stuck in his throat, the way that they always did. He had tried to say them before - to please Master Golbez, and to please himself as well. He wanted to please Master Golbez, and to hate Cecil. Cecil was spoiled, weak, childish... everything that Kain hated in himself. And yet he had attained such rank... why shouldn't he be reviled?

He wanted to say those words. Three simple words - _I hate him._ He wanted to very badly, but....

But...

But he couldn't. He looked at Rosa again, and he knew that he couldn't. He had very few memories of Rosa where Cecil had not been there, in some way or another. Hating Cecil would mean denying every happy memory of him... and because of that, he would deny every happy memory of her, as well.

How could he deny that? How could he lie? Even if he said the words, his master would know that they were false... that would infuriate him more than the truth.

"Well?" Golbez said. "Don't you want her?"

"Yes," Kain whispered. He did want her. He wanted her more than words could say. But... he cared about Cecil, too, even if he couldn't admit it to anyone but himself... but Golbez would know that, too. He would know, he always knew.... "I can't, Master. I'm sorry."

"You worthless servant," Golbez growled, and Kain closed his eyes. "I should have left you to die in the mountains. I should never have brought you here."

Kain did not open his eyes as Golbez walked away. The curse was worse than a blow, worse even than having a knife twisted in his stomach... but even the thought of hating Cecil was worse. Even if it meant that he couldn't have Rosa, it was far worse.

Rosa...

He looked at her peaceful face again, and was thankful that she hadn't heard any of their conversation. She was so beautiful, even now... and it would have been simple to have her forever. Why hadn't he been able to do it?

But even as he asked himself the question, he knew the answer. Because it was more than just her body and her unthinking devotion that he wanted. He wanted what they'd had before, the closeness that they'd shared. And Cecil had always been a part of that.

He _was_ an unworthy servant, he thought. He had to succeed, to get the crystals and bring Cecil to Golbez. That was the only way he would redeem himself...

He turned and walked away, but the image of her stayed in his mind, her pretty face streaked with tears.


End file.
